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Consider
your own emotions about the hurricane before you talk to your kids.
As adults, we can’t help kids cope with their feelings unless we have dealt with
ours first. Kids look to adults to help them understand the meaning of the
storm and the damage that occurred. We need to have our own emotions in check
so we can be available to help our kids cope.
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Remember
the importance of talking and listening when initiating a discussion about the
hurricane.
Since talking about the storm may bring up a lot of emotions, remembering
effective communication techniques can be helpful. Good communication involves
not just talking, but listening as well. Ask your kids what they think about
the storm and ask open ended questions. “Tell me
what you think about the storm. What have you talked about in school? How do
you think people handled the storm and the power being out for so long? Tell me
about some of the things that happened to your friends.”
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Timing is important. It usually helps to have an opening to starting a
conversation, such as driving by some damage, or seeing a news story. Talking
during the day is usually better then talking at night. Most kids are more
tired at the end of the day and have less energy to cope with heavy topics.
Discussions about upsetting things should be avoided right before bedtime.
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Recognize
that kids may need help putting their feelings into words.
Kids
may have difficulty expressing their feelings, and we can help by giving their
feelings a voice. “What I hear you saying is that you are still confused and scared about the
storm and you worry it may come back. Sometimes we have more than one feeling
about something like this. Let’s try to figure this out.”
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Reassure
kids about their personal safety.
Some kids will have lingering fears about their safety. Let them know there are
procedures in place to ensure all of our safety concerning the weather. Let
them know there are experts who watch the weather, let us know if dangerous
weather is coming, and there are safe places to be if needed. Reassure them
that there are officials whose job it is to keep us all safe, such as police
officers and fire rescue personnel. Severe weather is common in this area, and
having kids understand that adults have a plan can help them feel more secure.
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Monitor
television viewing.
Many networks will be showing footage of damaged areas or advertising the
weather news teams. This can be retraumatizing for some kids. Reassure them
that what they are seeing on television happened last week, (or month), and is
not happening all over again. Plan ahead to avoid excessive television exposure
and consider turning to other activities.
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Remember the positives.
Help yourself and your kids remember that, most importantly, people are safe.
Whatever damage you suffered, help your kids remember it could have been worse.
Help them see that buildings can be repaired, power can be restored, but our
loved ones are what is most important. Having your kids witness some
reconstruction activity can also help them see that life can return to normal.
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Plan
for a period of adjustment.
It is normal for kids to show signs of trauma such as crying, clinginess,
irritability, poor sleeping and eating, excessive focus or denial of the storm.
Typically these behaviors resolve themselves over a few weeks. Be sure to make
time to spend some extra attention on your kids to help ease the adjustment.
Being supportive and patient through this adjustment will help it pass. Other
kids may show no signs of problems and that can be normal as well.
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If
you are concerned about your child, talk with a mental health professional.
Some kids may still be having a hard time adjusting even after a few weeks. If
your child seems to be having prolonged difficulty, consider consulting with a
professional to help your child resolve their feelings.
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Remember hugs and support help everyone feel better.
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